Vignette : Revaluate

You stand beside the warped wooden bench, under the moonlight. The ruins of the minarets and vaults toppled like fallen dominoes, humbled to the ground from their heavenly posture. The cool silver light diffuses through the destruction, the same night eye that gazed on the founding of the city now wanes on the metropolis's termination. Why is it that sometimes we never seem to remember beginnings, but when the end arrives, it comes in full judgement and solemn heartbreak? And only then, we notice what privilege we had.

It doesn't have to be the monumental losses, really. Sometimes the little things are just as difficult to accept. They crop up again, involuntary recollections from an unwelcome stimulus, a song that plays over the radio, a birthday gift sitting on the shelf.

But other times, the ending slips right past us, drifting away into misty memories.

When did you last play in a playground, running carefree in juvenile confidence? When was the last time you wore that shirt before deciding it was too childish? When was the last time you watched your favourite childhood cartoon, however cynically mocking it seems now? When did you last time you went to dine at that restaurant, suffused with schoolday memories? When was the last time you met up with him? When was the last time you caught up on her life? When was the last time he went for a jog with you? When was the last time you saw her gentle smile? When did you last hear him laugh? When did you last tell her, how inspiring she is? When was the last time you told your parents you loved them? When was the last time someone held your hand? When was the last time...

And then suddenly, it was over. It's been years, and you realise he's grown old, she's become distant. You don't have the energy to run in the field, scream as you slip down the playground slide. It's not appropriate, it's not done. Now, many seasons after that final time, you comprehend the loss. No ruins, no heartbreaks, other buildings simply came in and replaced the old. But, somehow, it unnerves and upsets. What if yesterday was the last time she embraced you? What if tomorrow's lunch is the final time he cracks a joke about your table manners? How would you know?

So, savour each moment, cherish every time you meet up with a friend, treasure the little experiences of daily life. Even things that seem routine, unremarkable and dull will eventually end. Being aware of that uncertainty heightens the experience of every stone or brick that forms the cities of our lives.